Friday, October 27, 2006

Back to the good stuff

It’s Friday, and I have roughly an hour left in my workday. I just finished up a project (yes, I do actually do work at work) but there’s not enough time to really get into a new one. Plus, like I said, it’s Friday.

So I thought I'd write a bit. And while I don’t have a cohesive column to put forth, I thought I'd do a throwback to the original days of this blog when I would just throw out random observations at the end of every column.

I love writing observations, because:

A.) They don’t take a lot of thought

B.) I have a short attention span and so do most people I know

C.) They don’t take a lot of thought

Observations can really be anything: random thoughts floating through that vast-spacelike organ between my ears; points ripped from email exchanges I’ve had this week with friends; things that may not mean anything to anyone but me. I apologize for that, but this is my blog after all. So deal.

Without further ado, here are (drum roll please) my observations for this week:

I love Derek Jeter. Every Yankee fan does. But ESPN’s Buster Olney is exactly right—Jeter needs to get his head out of his ass and start speaking up for A-Rod. Like Olney said, there’s no downside for Jeter. Plus, it will make him look less like the self-absorbed ass he’s starting to sound like in the media because he will stick up for everyone but A-Rod.

A-Rod’s not going to be traded, just like Manny won’t be. Why? For starters, there is only one scenario that you would trade these guys for: young, proven pitching. Aka, Verlander, Zumaya, Liriano and oh yeah the list stops right around there because there aren’t many guys who fit that description. And no team is going to trade young proven pitching. So amongst the 2,000 other reasons (hall of famers for .50 on the dollar, etc) it’s just not going to happen. Can we start talking about something else?

I’m deeply saddened by the end of the Drew Bledsoe era in Dallas. I mean, his presence alone pretty much guaranteed the Giants at least a split with the Boys every year. And you knew he’d work hard to keep the opposition in every game. I’m going to miss him playing hard for my Giants, for the Skins, and for the Eagles. He was a great addition to our teams.

Though, if the entire Tony Romo Era is anything like it started out, I’m also going to thoroughly enjoy him too. His mobility buys him time to complete more interceptions.

As bad as Dallas played, the Giants looked good during the highest rated television broadcast in cable history. Other than Eli being Eli (which I like to describe as “periods of brilliance surrounded by moments of sheer terror”) the team looks like its really coming together. Someone finally told the defense that the preseason is over and the scores actually matter now, which is good. Hopefully losing Arrington for the season and Osi being out a week won’t bite them in the arse too badly. I’m not going to go as far as saying I think the Giants can make the Super Bowl, but I think the Giants can probably make the Super Bowl.

I guess I have to say something about Tiki’s retirement. Here’s what I think: have you seen Brandon Jacobs run the ball? Seriously? The man is a hybrid between a Sherman Tank and an Indy Car. Shades of Christian Okoye, except with speed and agility. To use a popular Giants phrase, he’s Thunder and Lightening in the same guy. If he learns how to catch a ball, look out. I’m not saying he’s as good as Tiki, but I’m saying I like my chances with him. (As for Tiki, I can’t wait till he’s doing the Today Show five years from now and cracking uncomfortable jokes with Matt Lauer and Al Roker’s stapled stomach.)

I like beer. Really, that’s not news, but it’s almost the weekend, so I just thought I’d throw that out there.

If T.O. had actually committed suicide, would you really have been sad or would you have just acted like it?

I think the Red Sox are going to suck royally next year if they don’t make some moves for more bats and get some pitching. Seriously, I’m thinking like 70 wins. I’m not kidding. That bad.

I think Bill Simmons’ wife is getting to be funnier than he is.

Mike Mussina may not be on the Yanks next year, and please GOD let them trade Gary Sheffield. Everyone thinks Alex is clubhouse problem. But Gary is the original clubhouse malcontent on this team. Don’t forget that. He’s certainly not worth $13 million to play first base. You think it’s chance that the Yankees were playing better baseball when he was on the bench and the bats immediately went cold when he came back? Um, it wasn’t. He craps on the chemistry of that team worse than anyone else. He needs to go. As for Mike, hopefully they can restructure his deal and keep him as a #3 or 4.

I made a trade for Steve Smith for my fantasy team this past week. (Frank Gore, who I got for Chad Johnson.) I’m shaky excited for the rest of the season now. I mean, I know it’s not possible for a fantasy team to have a chemistry problem, but mine did. Seriously. One week Julius Jones would go off, but no one else, the next Ronnie Brown would have a decent game, but neither Jones brother would, etc. I was mired at .500. If my team were real, analysts would be talking about this trade and throwing around phrases like, “this is just the kickstart this team needed” and “there’s a palpable excitement brewing in this imaginary locker room.” Yes, I think about this stuff too much. I know.

Whatever happened to the discount airlines? JetBlue? Song? Ted? Remember, they were supposed to be a cheap alternative to the juggernaut airlines. Now JetBlue wants $703 dollars for a round trip from NYC to Long Beach. Seriously? Sure, we’re at war, there’s an oil crisis, I get it. But $703 just to fly across the country? I refuse to believe no one can come up with a way to have an actual discount airline. I’m talking $75 roundtrip to NYC from Boston. And I mean Logan to LaGuardia, not Manchester to Islip. Is that too much to ask? (That’s another annoying trend with airlines. Manchester is not a local Boston airport, and Islip should never be referred to as an NYC alternative. Islip might as well be in Rhode Island. Really, I want to take a $340 cab ride to the city.)

Instead of betting on outcomes of actual football games, I want to bet on stuff like, “Steve McNair will get hurt and Kyle Boller will come in and throw two deflections that will somehow go for touchdowns.” On second thought, it’s probably better we can’t because I’d throw half my salary on this stuff.

I keep reminding myself that the Tigers were a horrible team as little as three weeks ago. I suppose I have a slight confession to make: I haven’t been watching the World Series, at least not without interruption. Programs I’ve chosen over the WS: Studio 60, Heroes, Friday Night Lights, How I Met Your Mother, MNF, and Sunday Night Football. (Keep in mind I have a DVR and I could watch any of those at any time, but I consciously chose to watch them instead of watching the WS.) Which explains the all-time low ratings. I mean, if a guy like me doesn’t really care, how can an average sports fan?

If you think baseball’s steroid problem is under control, just remember that Jeff Suppan was the NLCS MVP and Kenny Rogers hasn’t allowed a run in 23 innings in the postseason. So, either all the hitters were on steroids and now aren’t, or all the pitchers are now on them.

I have a bit of a reputation for coming up with really good Halloween costumes. (One year, I was the Verizon guy, last year Ron Burgundy, complete with red suit, turtleneck, moustache and Channel Four Action news mike.) This year I had the perfect Halloween costume lined up. I mean, I was excited about it. I was going to wear a #12 Jets jersey over a turtleneck with jeans and my girlfriend Mary Kate (no sister named Ashley, sorry) was going to wear a yellow coat, put her hair up and carry an ESPN mike. That’s right, Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber. “I just wanna kiss you.” And then Bill Simmons had to go and list that in his column this week. (see link above) Damn him. Not only does he have my perfect job, but he’s also giving away my costume ideas. Plus, he’s getting schooled by his wife in football picks. He needs to pull a Tiki and retire in his prime.

Did I mention I like beer? Maybe I did.


At 9:46 PM, Blogger kennyB said...

you like beer, kennyB likes the wine!


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